In an address to the joint session of France's two houses of parliament, French President Nicolas Sarkozy declared his support for a ban on burqas, saying that "In our country we cannot accept women who are prisoners behind netting.” The statement has caused outrage among France’s five million Muslims, and especially among the twelve ladies who actually wear the garment in question, five of whom live in the same house in Toulouse.

However, French Muslims were quick to hit back at the Presidents comments. Allez Allez Al Allez, a French citizen of Middle-Eastern origin told DubaiPie “He seems to care about free will – but conveniently forgets about some of France’s arcane and sexist laws. Did you know that in France it’s illegal for women to shave body hair? I think.

Dubai resident expatriates expressed their outrage today, as local and international media outlets almost completely ignored the death of one of Charlie’s Angels, and instead focused their entire attention on Michael Jackson’s stangely shaped head. Charlie’s Angels was the first television show in history not to bother with a plot, and instead simply showed attractive women in various states of undress – a format now used for 95% of all American media output.

As tension escalated on the streets of Tehran, Iran’s Guardian Council today blasted Britain as ‘evil’ and 'probably guilty of being behind all bad things ever'. Other Western countries were labelled as 'mildly evil' or 'not very nice'.

The main demand of the protesters has been an annulment of the election result and a re-run, based on the fact that the initial results appear to be absolute bollocks. However, their demands have been rejected by the Supreme Leader, who is chosen by God.

Scientists around the world descended on Dubai this week for one of the most exciting experiments in living memory. Tom Tomkinson, Head of Research at the fictional Oxford Cambridge Manchester University explained “Dubai is a very young city, and unlike many major centres around the world, it has yet to develop a distinctive ‘soul’. It’s a PR success, but behind the façade there’s a vacuum in terms of culture and identity.

With rents going down, inflation dropping, and most of the hedonist get-rich-quick tuppences either in prison or leaving the country, remaining residents have been growing increasingly concerned that there may soon be very few things to whine about.

“This is getting serious.” a community spokesperson told DubaiPie recently, “In addition to everything else the traffic seems to be getting better. In the olden days, you’d be guaranteed three crashes every 10 kilometres.

6Days, the news and current affairs pamphlet popular among non-working expatriates, has come under more criticism today for its volume of animal-related articles.

In a report entitled ‘The Power of the Cat’, Industry Analyst Tom Tomkinson claims entire media organisations can be fiscally viable provided they maintain a healthy level of cat related content. “Our research confirms that publications which concentrate on domestic cat issues are likely to be commercially successful.

Etihad Airways, the national airline of the UAE, has signed a sponsorship deal with Manchester City, the English Premier League football club, it was announced yesterday.

The three year deal includes shirt sponsorship plus branding and merchandise at the Eastlands Stadium.

A British woman is facing jail in Dubai for committing adultery after being reported to police by her jilted husband. She was arrested by police after she left a Bur Dubai hotel in the early hours of Sunday morning.

The woman – as yet unidentified – is the second Brit this year to face adultery charges, after Marnie Pearce was jailed in February for the same offense. This latest incident now raises serious questions for the British expatriate community in the UAE.

A senior UAE official yesterday slammed the New York-based Human Rights Watch for a lack of transparency and credibility. This follows the release of its report on conditions for labourers on Abu Dhabi’s Saadiyaat Island.

"Why they keep on hitting the UAE with these negative stories I have no idea", said an official. "This month alone the western media have had a pop at us for stealing billions of dollars of investor’s money, and not paying hundreds of millions out to contractors.

In a shocking development, the UAE has pulled out of the proposed GCC central currency.

The decision comes just a few days after GCC Nations nominated Riyadh as the location of the Central Bank – rather than Abu Dhabi, as had been hoped by UAE officials.

"We’d already started building the headquarters," said a stunned UAE Official, "the curtains have been ordered and everything."

Riyadh is seen as a strange choice by many.
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About Me
Lives & works in Dubai. Loves the city. Doesn't like the spin.
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